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We live in times when the written word has lost its magic. Pencils are for
fetishists. Mass production of congratulatory cards copies intimate
congratulations, wishes, and so forth. Love language looks like questions
from a chat for beginners "Is your sex male or female? Age?" Indeed, God
helped those who within 100 years restored the greatest novels of the 21th
century. Interesting how the contents of telephone calls between Antonio
Banderas and Melany Griffit will be transcribed in future?
No wonder that everyone rushed to buy "Viagra". Such erotic things like
a hand-written love-letter of own composition today would occur only in
imagination. If you want something particular in your relations forget about
boxes of chocolate sweets. Anyway, they plump up. Instead, take a pen and
express your heart on a sheet of paper. Does it sound frightening? Wrong.
Just remember several simple rules, and soon you will be able to compete
even with Sirano de Bergerak.
Your beloved is unique.
Who knows what mysterious qualities of him have aroused your love?
Well, let's imagine you are aware of it. Then describe those qualities. And
try to be more original. The phrase "I love you for your beauty" is similar
to the saying "I love you, because you are bipedal, with two big toes".
Every man is handsome in his own way (or, at least, his mum thinks so). You
better concentrate your attention on what differs your man from any other on
this planet.
Your beloved makes your heart beat faster.
Your palms sweat and your brain is in faint. Describe what you feel.
These are the physical signs of your total love to him. He will be excited
with every trifle you feel because of him. Only mind you don't mention
discomfort in intestines. Diarrhea is not sexual, not romantic, not
aesthetic and not hygienic. Generally speaking, it is a foul he is not
supposed to know at all!
Ease off a bit with metaphors!
Will I compare you with a spring day? Perhaps, yes, if I am William
Shakespeare. And all the rests should think before using metaphors. A
metaphor, which seems elevated to the author, may be considered by the
reader as absurd one.
Measure your letter.
It is useful to do it not AFTER, but BEFORE you have written and packed
it. Estimate approximately how much you are able to write. If no more than
one paragraph better avoid long-winded exposition.
Brevity is the sister of talent. So longer does not mean better. "I do
not want to live without you" looks better than "This morning I had a lot of
time for reflection (because I washed my underwear kept for two weeks). And
I think that if you do not share the burden of domestic duties I will not be
able to live further. At least, till I buy a washing machine".
Write with good taste.
Erotic memoirs and melancholy are the things that possess everyone who
writes love-letters. But remember that the result on paper might make knit
your brow. And there is no need in the detailed description of what you
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