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Invitation obligations

     Invitations to weddings, to receptions with presentation of gifts, to dancing-parties or balls, as well as to official ceremonies or the receptions, for which you pay, do not suppose the return invitation. If you have been invited to a reception in the private house, for breakfast, lunch, cocktail or dinner, the rules of good form demand the return gesture of yours.

     It is you to decide whether to accept the invitation or to refuse it. However, when the invitation is accepted, you are by all means obliged to be there.

     Having received the invitation letter with a note "R.s.v.p.", you are obliged to answer it as soon as possible. It is extremely impolite to keep the hosts in ignorance concerning the number of visitors.

     In this case your answer should meet the style of the invitation.

     If there is a phone number after the note "R.s.v.p." call without delay and inform the hosts of your decision.

     In case there is no "R.s.v.p." in the invitation, it is not necessary for you to send the answer.

     If you have decided to dispatch invitations it is necessary to send them to all guests without exception. Do not save on trifles inviting your close friends or neighbours personally or by the phone and sending the other guests official cards. Otherwise you can hurt the former.

Official invitations

Invitations to dinner

     Private dinners of official character, invitations on which are dispatched from the third person, are arranged very seldom. Diplomatic dinners or dinners held at the expense of organizations, with preliminary dispatch of official invitations, are given more often.

     Printed by the stamped type the invitation to a private dinner usually looks as follows:

     Mr. and Mrs. Wane Johnson
     have pleasure to invite you to dinner
     on Saturday, July 4,
     at half past seven,
     in "Sibreeze",
     Edgartown, Massachusetts, R.S.V.P. 65 POB, Edgartown, Massachusetts, 02539

     If the dinner is taken in honour of someone there will be an inscription by hand of the type "Meeting with Mr. Edgar Rice " either near the address or in the upper part of the card.

Invitations to dancing-parties and balls.

     If the dancing-party is organized for youth, and everyone is supposed to come in pairs, there is a note in the invitation: "... have pleasure to invite Ms. Jacquelyn Elebson and her partner to... " or "... Mr. Joseph Antonio and his lady".

     In official invitations in front of names of men, women or children always one of the following forms of address are used: "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss" or "Ms.".

     Mr. and Mrs. John Warren have pleasure to invite you to the dancing-party in honour of their niece

     Miss (or Ms.) Lee Warren on Thursday, December 24,
     at ten o'clock,
     address:
     1300, East Boulevard,
     Taksoy, Arizona
     Mr. and Mrs. Jerome Rot
     have pleasure to invite you
     to the reception in honour of the termination of their son's study
     Mr. Robert Stephen Rot
     on Sunday, June 26,
     at four o'clock,
     to "Essex-House"
     New York. Please answer to the address: Rotmidose Old Brookville, Long Island, 11545

Official concert and refusal of invitation

     The form of the consent or refusal of the invitation depends on the character of the invitation itself. When you receive the invitation to a dancing-party or to a wedding from your close friend and you cannot come, you, probably, would prefer to explain the reason of the refusal and give best regards to the guest or bride in a note of personal character.

     When you inform of your decision by the phone, there is no problem, but if you answer in writing form you should adhere to certain formulations. If in the text of the invitation they address you as "Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Smith" you are to answer to "Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Smith" too, even if you know for certain that only Mrs. Arthur is engaged in all questions concerning invitations.

     Mr. and Mrs. Rotmor
     with pleasure accept
     the obliging invitation of
     Mr. and Mrs. Peter Angeles, younger,
     for dinner
     on Monday, December 10,
     at eight o'clock.

     When the text of the invitation begins with words of the type:

     "Mr. and Mrs. Stewart Zeitlin
     have pleasure to invite you" and so on, you are supposed to write in the answer:
     "... with pleasure accept
     your obliging invitation to..."

     The form of refusal of the invitation usually looks as follows:

     The doctor and Mrs. Kennet Koen
     regretfully inform that they cannot accept
     the obliging invitation of
     Mr. and Mrs. Geordan Evan Anderson
     on Monday, December 10.
     Mr. Michael Ingber regretfully informs that he cannot accept
     the obliging invitation to dinner at
     Mr. and Mrs. Herris
     on Monday, December 10.

     In case you accept the invitation, in the answer it is necessary to repeat the date and time of the beginning of reception in order to prevent possible misunderstanding. If you have decided to refuse there is no need to mention the time.

Cancellation of invitation

     If the invitation is cancelled because of illness or for any other reason there is the sample, according to which you can inform the guests of this fact. In such cases the type is always usual, instead of the imprinted one, as usually there is no time for stamping. In case the invitation is cancelled at the latest moment, the message about cancellation may be written by hand or said by the phone.

     Because of the illness of the daughter Mr. and Mrs. John Hantington Smith III
     are compelled to cancel the invitation
     on Tuesday, June 10.